


Almost

by char1ynch



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bellarke, Child Loss, Denial, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Heartache, Heartbreak, Loss of Faith, Loss of Virginity, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-24
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-10-15 12:24:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17528669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/char1ynch/pseuds/char1ynch
Summary: "You would have been a great mother."





	Almost

Ever since Clarke Griffin was a little girl, she knew for certain that she wanted to be a mother. Her mother was a pediatrician, and she loved when she came home because she would curl up in her mother's lap and listen to her fondly recount her experiences with every child that passed through the clinic. All babies were unique, and the prospect of Clarke having her own personal unique life was such a exciting thing to her that she wanted to become a mother as quickly as possible, despite her mothers disapproval. She had became sexually active when she was young, in hopes that she would feel the feeling mothers were supposed to feel when they wound up pregnant, but it was in vain. Every male she ended up with ended up not being able to carry out the task she made very clear to them at the start of their trysts, so she gradually began to give up. Until she met a male who was at least a head taller than her, with inviting brown eyes and a mischievous smile. She learned that his name was Bellamy, and he was also searching for something similar to what she was, so their relationship was founded on that mutual desire to carry out their tasks. They made love far more than an average couple did, but their desire to reach the goal they had set for themselves far more important to both of them.

 

Finally, at the age of 23, her prayers were answered, and she discovered that she was with child. She was elated, and she couldn't wait to share the news with her lover, who felt just as accomplished as she at the news they had both been waiting for since the day they met in the corner of the nightclub they had once both been regulars at. Things went amazingly, with both parties wasting no time in beginning the preparations for their unborn child, until they received news that would shatter the blissful life they had been constructing for themselves. It was a routine ultrasound, to let the OBGYN check the progress of the baby and monitor Clarke as well, but it quickly went south when her doctor failed to find a heartbeat. She shared the devastating news with the blonde haired young woman, knowing that it would absolutely destroy her, but it had to be done. Clarke was confused at first, some would call label it as denial, when the news settled heavy onto her chest. The kind middle aged woman explained gently that the baby had been deceased for quite some time, which would coincide with neither mother or father being able to feel the baby's barely there movements when they laid wrapped up in one another late into the night. Clarke left the clinic empty and angry, the loss of her unborn child already forcing her to lose hope of ever becoming a mother at all. She stumbled into the apartment she shared with Bellamy, who had skipped out on the appointment due to the fact that he was unable to get off of work for the occasion, which irritated both of them but they knew they would need all the money that they could get. Now, the prospect of having a family seemed so minuscule that she couldn't even look at him when he asked her if everything was okay. She felt her lip quivering as he laid a hand on her jacket clad shoulder, and she broke down, sobbing loudly into his chest as he comforted her. From the way she was crying, he knew what had happened, and he felt his own chest tighten at the loss. But he had to be strong for his girl, he had to. He waited only until she had fallen asleep to let his emotions overtake him, his guilt seeping into the cracks of the walls as he nearly collapsed onto the tiled bathroom floor. She had woken up to his cries, and she held him as he had held her, her turn to be the strong one. She ran her hand gently through his brown curls and peppered kisses to his star kissed skin, in hopes that she could take away some of her own pain too. They sat on the bathroom floor for longer than they realized, until the first rays of sunlight crept in through the blinds, and that's when they retired to their bed, to hold each other more securely. Neither one of them had anything to say, the tears that had been spilled were more than enough words to express their grief, so they didn't even try.

 

Months passed, and things got progressively easier for the couple, but not by much. Days were spent working while nights were spent in agony, but it had become routine for the two, who refused to speak about the great loss they had suffered many months prior. Today was like any other, save for the fact that Abby Griffin was flying in for a brief visit, and she knew the topic would be inevitable to avoid. The curiosity of her dear mother would surely make tensions run high, but she knew she had to be truthful for the sake of the pediatrician, who just wanted to help her daughter through her grief. She made an effort with her appearance, dressing in a floral print dress and braiding her hand down her back, but she felt less than festive as she waited for the knock that would signify Abby had finally arrived. Bellamy told her she was beautiful and held her hand, but she was far away, drowning out his mindless chatter and attempting to zero in on something that would be a pleasant conversation topic. The couple sat side by side on the couch until the knock summoned them across the room, and she threw the door open with a start, collapsing into her mothers safe arms. Abby was taken aback nonetheless, but she didn't question her daughters decisions, she just welcomed them with wide open arms. Once the formalities had concluded, Bellamy and Clarke led the woman to the kitchen, where they had an extensive selection of food items for her to choose from. They all ate in silence, but the elephant in the room was choking the air slowly so Clarke finally threw her fork down and turned to her mother.

 

"I lost the baby, I lost one of my only chances at happiness. I'm dealing with it, so don't treat me as some fragile child who can't handle loss. I dealt with dad's death, I can deal with this too." She rose from the table in a flourish and disappeared back to her bedroom, not giving her mother a chance to speak in defense for herself. She knew Clarke was capable of dealing with events the average person could not, but she knew her daughter, and she knew the last thing she was doing was dealing with it. She looked at Bellamy across the table, who seemed to read her mind as he gave her an apologetic smile and disappeared in pursuit of his girlfriend. He found her curled up on the bed, her back facing him, and he cautiously walked to her side, catching the unmistakable glint of tears on her cheeks. She looked up at him and raked the back of her hands across her cheeks, scrubbing away any sign of her crumbling facade. She rose into a sitting position and leaned her head on his shoulder, signing deeply for a multiple of reasons. He pressed his lips faintly against her hairline and muttered something that made her smile for the first time in many many months;

 

_"You would have been a great mother."_

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are appreciated, and even encouraged! Hope you all are well x.


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